Category Archives: Sides

A Bitter Meal To Swallow

dead fishBreaking news: Gwyneth has a podcast. FINALLY. It’s actually kind of surprising she didn’t have a podcast until now? Shows surprising restraint. The first episode of the goop Podcast comes out Thursday, but I gleefully downloaded the 1-minute preview episode about 45 seconds after it was released, and let me tell you, this shit is already delivering everything I wanted.

Continue reading


1 Comment

Filed under Main Courses, Pasta, Salads, Sides

Menu-Making With Gwyneth

Hey, guys! I’m back! Again! Sorry for the extremely long absences, but this site is simply a hobby for me, so it frequently has to take a backseat to more profitable ventures. (In that spirit, I will have a few things happening in the upcoming months that will give you MORE DANNY, if that’s what you’re desperate for. And if that is what you’re desperate for, then maybe you should talk to someone about that?) Anyway, let’s see how many recipes I can bang out before I disappear for 4 months again, right? Today’s post encompasses a whopping four recipes (actually, there’s a surprise fifth), and as a sign of good faith, let me tell you that I’m typing this as a pot simmers away on the stove in preparation of my next recipe. So there will be more in the near future, I guarantee it. Here’s a sneak preview: Continue reading


Filed under Main Courses, Sides, Soups

Being Thankful for Gwyneth

I have returned from Wisconsin, dog in tow, and I could not be happier to have this whole moving process finally, finally completed. But anyway, we can talk about that later. Let’s talk about Thanksgiving!

It goes without saying that, when in the middle of a year-long cooking project, the one day you absolute MUST cook on is Thanksgiving. I feel like that’s in the Constitution somewhere. So before I left New York, I picked out a couple Gwyneth side dishes to contribute to our enormous family meal, relishing the idea of force-feeding my health-food-phobic family Brussels sprouts. If you recall, the last time I cooked for my family, I made cheesy stuffed burgers. This time, I wasn’t going to take it so easy on them. Continue reading


Filed under Holidays, Sides

The Danny/Gwyneth Project: New York Edition

So here we are in New York City. I’ll spare you the details, but it’s been quite the week, what with driving two 16-hour days to get to Wisconsin, sadly leaving my dog behind with my parents (who, I should gratuitously mention, are absolute saints), and arriving in New York on Sunday morning. Since then, I’ve been touring apartments around the city like a lunatic, trying desperately to secure a place to live before I start work next Monday (and expect a forthcoming blog post on how Gwyneth is actually helping me find a place). In the meantime, my friends Nora and Mandy are graciously allowing me to impede on their space and sleep on their couch in Chelsea. To make up for this, I cooked not one, not two, but THREE Gwyneth recipes for dinner recently. Let’s see how my first NYC cooking experience went! Continue reading


Filed under Pasta, Salads, Sides

Celebrating New York with Mediocrity

Last night there was a lot to celebrate: my friend Lisa is in town from Wisconsin, and oh also by the way I’m moving to New York in like two weeks to go work in an ad agency (and possibly also to gay marry Zachary Quinto, but that’s still only at about a 50/50 probability). So, everything is very exciting! Also? TERRIFYING. I have so much to do in the next couple weeks (including, much to my chagrin, this project, the bane of my existence). My head may just burst into flames at any moment. Fun! I’ll be sure to document all my meltdowns on Twitter. Anyway, I made three recipes last night, because I need to get this train a-rollin’ and also because I am a masochist.

I picked three recipes that seemed like they would go well together, based on absolutely nothing: Bruschetta, Artichoke & Pine Nut Pesto, and Sole a la Grenoblaise. And it all turned out pretty mediocre! Sorry, Lisa, it’s the nature of the beast. Continue reading


Filed under Main Courses, Pasta, Sides

Gwyneth Paltrow Invented Teriyaki Sauce

We’re flying right along here, as I completed two more recipes last night: Broiled Salmon with Homemade Teriyaki Sauce, as well as Fragrant Jasmine Rice. And both of these were almost comically simple, let me tell you. I mean, can you really claim as your own recipes the basic ingredients for a teriyaki sauce, as well as just throwing some spices into rice? I mean, really. This is just getting absurd. Continue reading


Filed under Main Courses, Sides

Burgers & Orcas

Oh, boy. We have a lot to cover. My family was here for the past week, for a whirlwind tour of Portland, Seattle (although I wasn’t present for that portion), and a five-day stay on the San Juan Islands, all the way up in practically Canada. Somewhere in there, I found time to cook two Gwyneth recipes for these unsuspecting fools, and it wasn’t totally awful! Even after the grease fire.

Continue reading


Filed under Burgers & Sandwiches, Holidays, Sides