Prelude to a Murder

Oh, god. Tonight’s the night. The first time I kill something. Excluding insects. And anything I may have accidentally, unknowingly hit with my car. I’ve fished, but the meager couple of things (if you can even call them fish) in my life I’ve ever caught, I’ve always thrown back.

But tonight I get up close and personal with my dinner. I don’t think I have the balls to stab a lobster — multiple lobsters, in fact! — in the face and slice them lengthwise like that bloodthirsty Gwyneth demands, so I’m going the gutless route (albeit even more painful for the animals, I’m sure): boiling crabs alive.

So, in a few hours, we shall be venturing down to a seafood store, picking out our victims, returning home, and tossing them in some boiling water. Pray for us.

And I’m pretty sure I only have glass lids for all my pots. I really don’t want to have to watch this go down.

Stay tuned.



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7 responses to “Prelude to a Murder

  1. Rad Co-worker

    I do not envy you your job tonight! I have heard that putting them in the fridge for awhile puts them to sleep so they don’t scramble as much trying to get out of the pot. (I actually shuddered writing that sentence) Lobster is tasty but only if someone else does the deed. Good Luck!

  2. Avonasea

    I tried once and couldn’t do it. Had to call my Dad over so that he would be the murderer. I feel for you. And I really feel for them lobsters.

  3. Clair

    I couldn’t do it either. I went to a BBQ where they were boiling them and I had to leave the kitchen.

    Good luck!

  4. Henri

    Name ’em. If they carry the name of your arch enemies, it’s easier to dump them in the pot. That is of course supposing that you have arch enemies to name them for.

  5. Paula

    Is anyone else more interested in how the dinner with the “someone” went? Are you in some kind of euphoric phase and unable to write? Please let that be so – if not, GET BACK TO WRITING! I need more!

  6. It was easy for me, so what does that say about myself?
    How did it go?

  7. Toastyup

    Danny … The suspense is KILLING ME! What happened to those poor crabs? Or maybe I shouldn’t ask …

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