Oh, god. Tonight’s the night. The first time I kill something. Excluding insects. And anything I may have accidentally, unknowingly hit with my car. I’ve fished, but the meager couple of things (if you can even call them fish) in my life I’ve ever caught, I’ve always thrown back.
But tonight I get up close and personal with my dinner. I don’t think I have the balls to stab a lobster — multiple lobsters, in fact! — in the face and slice them lengthwise like that bloodthirsty Gwyneth demands, so I’m going the gutless route (albeit even more painful for the animals, I’m sure): boiling crabs alive.
So, in a few hours, we shall be venturing down to a seafood store, picking out our victims, returning home, and tossing them in some boiling water. Pray for us.
And I’m pretty sure I only have glass lids for all my pots. I really don’t want to have to watch this go down.