Death to the Timetable!

Good lord, I am just awful at blogging. Just the worst. I wish the reason for my absence was something exciting. For example, perhaps I’ve been in New York, meeting with producers and casting the leads for “Danny & Gwyneth.” Or maybe I had gone undercover for the tell-all book I’m writing, exposing the secrets of a cult. But really, the reason for the lack of updates is that I’ve had various other people cooking fantastic meals for me the last few days, so I haven’t had to do a lick of work in the kitchen since before the weekend. (These meals have included, but have not been limited to: pulled pork tacos from Kevin, Martha Stewart-inspired lemon roast chicken from Sam, burgers from Kevin again, and a really, really ridiculously good pancake with berry compote and sausage, egg, and grits souffle brunch courtesy of Lindsey). Which is great for me! But terrible for the blog.

Alas, my free culinary ride has now come to an end, and it is now my turn to return the favor. So hold tight. There WILL be cooking. I think I know what I’m going to make, and I’m actually sort of excited for it. Unfortunately, a quick skim through the book shows that the majority of the big-ticket items left to cook all take at LEAST 5 hours, which means I’m going to have to do a bit more weekend cooking, if we don’t want to be eating dinner at midnight on a Wednesday. Goddamnit, Gwyneth.

However, for those of you who may be frustrated with the recent dearth of new posts (although, to be fair, my life can’t be Italy trips and dinners with cults all the time), rest assured that I have decided to throw the timetable OUT THE WINDOW. Nine months to complete 150 totally half-assed “recipes” breeds laziness, and we just can’t have that. If I finish in five months, so be it. This is the sort of wildness and unpredictability Gwyneth can appreciate, I’m sure. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ll be cooking all the time, in a mad dash to the finish like our pioneer Julie Powell. I mean, I still do have to buy paella equipment and a giant roasting pan and god knows what else for future dishes, so I’m going to want to spread those more expensive ones out as much as possible. But, you know, at least I won’t have the mindset of, “I’ll do that recipe in January.” NO, YOU’LL DO IT NOW.

This means I need to place another order for more duck bacon. Ugh.

Anyway, enough talking. Here are some funny GIFs of Gwyneth, to trick you into thinking there was a point to this post at all:



Filed under Gwyneth Miscellania

6 responses to “Death to the Timetable!

  1. Oldest and Wisest Sister

    Can you make a non-pork recipe for the family in two weeks?? We’re doing groceries at the rental, and Mom and Dad will probably be buying them before we get there….if you catch my drift. K, thanks!

  2. Sam

    I am such a lesser person for not seeing Country Strong.

  3. zoobabe

    thanks for using the word of the day (dearth) in today’s post. My internet experience has now come full circle.

  4. phoebz4

    I was in a butcher shop yesterday that sold duck eggs, and I found myself scanning to see if they also sold duck bacon. I blame you. And no, they did not.

  5. Here’s my favourite Gwenyth GIF (how is it even possible that I have one? This is sad…):

  6. beth

    hey! since you need more duck bacon check out this place:
    i’ve seen it there before and it might be cheaper coming from seattle. can’t wait for you to tackle some of the 5 hour behemoths!

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