Guys, first of all, I want to thank everyone who’s been visiting and commenting and telling other people about this stupid thing that I’m doing. I kind of just thought my mom would read half of the first post I wrote and then give up, and that would be it, so I’m a little overwhelmed by how many people are reading this stuff. Are you guys okay? Are you all trapped in a mine with nothing but a laptop to entertain you? I’m worried about all of you. I guess the downside is that now I actually have to finish this thing. Damnit.
Anyway, Lalo’s Famous Cookies! This recipe comes to us from actress Blythe Danner, who is, of course, Gwyneth’s mother. Apparently Gwyneth’s kids call her “Lalo,” because, “who wants to be called Grandma anyway?” Um, millions of people, I’m pretty sure? I know my grandma loves being called Grandma. What are you even talking about, Gwyneth? “Only commoners enjoy being called Grandma.” Apparently Blythe Danner is famous “far and wide” for these cookies, as opposed to, I don’t know, Meet the Parents. Nope, definitely the cookies that got her famous.
Gwyneth reassures me that these are “incredibly healthy,” but considering I dumped a cup of oil and a whole bottle of maple syrup into the batter, I’m skeptical. I guess compared to most other cookies, yes, but to actually suggest giving them to your kids for breakfast? I expected better advice from you, Gwyneth.
The cookies are incredibly easy to make, however. I just crushed some almonds in a food processor, and mixed them with barley flour, a little salt and cinnamon, and the canola oil and maple syrup (which Gwyneth insisted MUST be the ultra-expensive “real Vermont” stuff, virtually doubling the budget for these cookies).
Really, it’s hard to not just eat THIS.
After mixing it all up, you’re left with a sticky mess that smells amazing. Then I simply made little balls on a baking sheet, and indented them with my index finger. I then used a spoon to fill the indents with three different jams: I used raspberry, blueberry, and apricot. What resulted was, I must say, pretty beautiful.
Then it was just a quick 20 minutes in the oven, and the cookies came out beautifully. And, wow. Another knockout for Gwyneth. How is this possible? (Granted, my friend Adam didn’t like them at all. But he was outvoted.) They were sweet and nutty, and the warm jam in the middle was an awesome touch. We had some disagreement over which jam was the best, although I preferred apricot.
So, once again, Gwyneth delivers a hit. What is even happening? This is not what I expected at all. Of course, I should note that I’m purposely starting with the easier/cheaper recipes. But pretty soon I’m going to have nowhere left to hide, and I’ll be making expensive Lobster Rolls, and cursing the entire Paltrow clan. But for now, Gwyneth and I couldn’t be getting along better.
I also made banana bread, but that has nothing to do with Gwyneth.