Easter Brunch!!!!!

Obviously, the main point of Easter is brunch. Right? That’s what the big deal about Easter is? And what better way to celebrate the day Jesus drove all the rabbits out of Scotland than to cook some Gwyneth Paltrow brunch recipes!

I invited somewhere between four and fifteen friends to my place for Easter morning for a totally Gwyneth brunch, so I knew there could be no fucking this up. THE EYES OF THE WORLD WERE UPON ME. The brunch was scheduled at 1 (we tend to be a lazy group), but I had to get started at 8 am. What else would you expect from Gwyneth? As a result, I excused myself relatively early on Saturday night and set my alarm. Yes, this brunch was serious business.

Oh Heyyyyyy, Guys

Guys! Remember when I used to run a blog? Haha, just kidding, no one remembers that. That was way back in 2011! And now it’s 2012, which means it’s time for some HONESTY: My move to New York has tried its hardest to derail this project. This city is a very demanding mistress. (Did you know there’s stuff going on here ALL THE TIME? And that it’s VERY HARD TO SAY NO TO ANY OF IT? I’m pretty sure my dog starved to death 10 days ago, can someone go to my house and check on him, please? I’ll just be at this comedy show tonight.) But, fear not, I will keep at this nightmare of a project until either I’m dead, or all of us are. Anyway, I made some stuff!

One recent weekend, I woke up and decided that pancakes were NECESSARY. Thankfully, Gwyneth provides me with two pancake recipes! One of them, however, requires you to make the batter the night before (naturally), so instead I went with the very literally named Morning Pancakes. Unfortunately, my camera battery wasn’t charged, so I don’t have any pictures. You know what pancakes look like, though, right? That’s what these looked like. I don’t think any of us are missing out on anything here.

Breakfast in Chelsea

You guys, I’m two recipes behind on blogging, so it’s time to CATCH UP. Plus it’s Thanksgiving week, and I’ve got a lot of recipes planned to knock out, so let’s hurry up! But first, an update: I started my job last week, and yesterday I moved into an apartment! And they’re both great! And this weekend, after spending Thanksgiving in Wisconsin, Bark Antony and I will be driving back to New York. Country dog moving to the big city! Yikes.

Anyway: Challah French Toast. Still needing to make up for my guilt at taking over Nora’s living room, I told her to pick out a breakfast recipe from the book. She chose challah French toast, of which I wholeheartedly approved. If you saw the picture Gwyneth put next to the recipe, you’d be salivating, too. And I knew the quality of the challah was of the utmost important in this recipe, so we set off to the Chelsea Market in search of high-quality challah.

Tarra-gone? (Ugh, Sorry.)

This will be quick and easy and boring, but it’s my first Gwyneth Paltrow breakfast recipe, which is kind of exciting, no? Actually, not that exciting. This stuff was kind of bland. But let’s get it over with: Artichoke & Parmesan Frittata!